My Dad Was Cool Like This

If we'd lived in Scotland, this would SO have been my Daddy when Mum and I were butting heads because I was being a stupid teenager.  He would have even made that face at the end.  Awesomeness. :)

After

After a sleepless night (general insomnia), I heard the children wake up for Christmas morning.
After they had come downstairs and gasped with delight over their presents, there was paper everywhere and smiles and laughter and it was wonderful.
After the presents were all open, there was a breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.  Simple, but so good.
After spending time playing games and setting up toys, it was time for them to go to their dad's for his visitation time.  They will be back on Jan. 1st.
After they were gone, the house was too quiet.
After I had lunch and cleaned up the downstairs, I decided to go see Les Miserables.
After I sat down in the theater, someone I hadn't seen in a long time found me and invited me to sit with them.
After the opening overture, I didn't stop crying until the credits rolled.
After the movie, we went to get a bite to eat and catch up on each other's lives for a couple of hours.
After I got home the weather turned downright nasty.  Glad to be snug and safe.
After a good night's sleep, I spent the majority of today job searching and submitting online applications.
After some general blogging, I discovered that my ex married his mistress yesterday.  I thought I would feel something one way or another, or have some sort of response since our divorce was only final Nov 28th, but I didn't.  I don't really care.  Huh.
After I helped my Gran with some stuff she needed, I went back to my job search and was interrupted by 3 different instant messages from good friends wanting to chat.  Gal pal Nikki lives in Savannah and is always ready to tell me how the city looks and what's happening there. I felt loved and cared about. :)
After writing this, I'm ready to go to bed and have a busy, productive, and happy day tomorrow, spending time in prayer, getting caught up on housework, sewing work, more job searching, and writing some long overdue letters.

I'm going to leave you with a great song lyric about "after".  It's by Mumford and Sons.  (Here's the full song if you want to hear it.  I'll likely feature it on a MM sometime later.)

And after the storm
I run and run as the rains come
and I look up, I look up
On my knees and out of luck
I look up...

There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears
when love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there
with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

Breaking the Silence

Hello, my loves.

Many of my regular readers have noticed that I have been "quiet" in the last 6 months, not posting much of anything personal, and mainly only loosely sticking to my blogging schedule by providing stuff I find on the interwebs that I know you'll love.  I stopped doing a daily "Attitude of Gratitude" list back in July, NOT because I wasn't counting my blessings, but because if I posted even a tiny percentage of what I was thankful for each day, in the face of all that's happened here recently, I'd have been a continual, blubbering, emotional wreck.  (That sentence seems to have entirely more commas than it ought, but I can't articulate it any better at the moment.  Bear with me.)

My blog is not a rant.  It is not a public journal where I vent whatever emotion is running high at the moment and then wait til later to think about how it came across.  I have striven to keep it a cheerful, beautiful place where there is always something to make my readers smile.  Some of my posts from last year are of a more serious and personal nature, but the majority since have been reigned in to be of a positive and happy persuasion.  I want to thank you all for the continued love you have shown.  My followers count is growing, which is thrilling!  I will be joining in with a "Grow Your Blog" fest in January (separate post about that, with all kind of links, to follow shortly).  I am humbled to have had nearly 70,000 pageviews on my sidebar counter.  Wow!  Your comments and letters (though I am WAY behind in replies again!) and virtual hugs have encouraged me and kept me pushing through the tough times- and there have been many tough times of late, to be sure.

So by now you are wondering what has kept me so distant.  Well, the biggest thing is that my divorce is now finally final.  He left us ("officially") this summer.  I fought so hard to save the marriage, spending more time than I can even recall literally on my face at the Lord's feet, begging for a miracle.  But both people have to want it, and according to him the entire marriage was a lie on his side.  Yes, there are sordid details.  Yes, he cheated.  There were lies on top of lies, on top of more lies, until things finally caught up with him.  But that's all I'm going to tell you about it.  The details are really no one else's business, and I'd just as soon bury the past as much as I can, as quickly as I can.  The end result and bottom line is that I am now a single mom of 2, starting my life completely over.

Where I had been raising his two children from his first marriage, as well as our two, and had referred to them all in my posts as "Cute Gremlins 1-4", with 1 being the oldest, etc., now he has taken 1 and 2 to Alabama with him (I never had ANY legal rights to them whatsoever.  Motherhood is, in itself, a thankless job.  This has turned out even more so.) and I am the primary physical custodial parent of our two.  Therefore, from here on out, anything related to the children is simply "Cute Gremlin the Elder" and "Cute Gremlin the Younger".  As above, that's the only explanation and insight you're going to get.

I will say this for the Year of Infomercials From Hell that 2012 has been: when stuff like this happens, you find out who your friends are.  And aren't.  When things are stripped down to the bone, you see who is true blue and who only pretended to give a crap about you.  You discover just how fragile and precious every moment of happiness, security (though admittedly, mine was a false sense of), and normality really is.  You either run to God, or from Him.  I am utterly dependent on Him, and though my faith was tested with the hottest fire I have yet encountered in this life, it held and I seek His face moment by moment.
How great is my comfort, to be hidden in the shadow of His wings! (Ps. 17:8 and 57:1)

I have many major choices ahead of me, including finishing school (Where?  What degree major? How to pay for it?  I don't fancy getting into massive debt...), getting a job (have been trying for 8 months- nothing yet.  Having been a SAHM for 8 years, and no degree, I have no marketable skills that will translate to a full time job that will support myself and 2 children.  But I'm trying.), what to do with Lucy Jane... the Etsy shop is growing, and I'm grateful for that.  But how to take it to the next level (so it becomes a viable source of income) and be worth the time investment? A lot of questions.  Some of them that raise more questions instead of answers.  However.  I know Who has ALL the answers, even when I feel like I can't even breathe.

So that's it.  That's the long and the short.  It hasn't been 100% heartache- there are several things that I have found happiness and worth in that I can't wait to share with you!  The personal growth has been a painful process, but it has happened, and continues to happen, and I have discovered more about my identity as a human being in the past 3 years than perhaps in the whole of my life prior to that!  I will share those joyful things with you, very soon!  But for right now, I feel like this post is long enough and complete in itself.

I'm back from hovering on the "edges".  This is my blog, my personal space, and I am ready to live in it fully again.  I will be posting personal triumphs and trials in the future, inviting you to come along for the journey.  I will keep this blog a beautiful and cheerful place and I hope anything it contains blesses someone's heart.  So many of you fellow bloggers have blessed mine.  Thank you so much for that.
Until later, my dears.  Thank you again for sticking with me.  It promises to be an amazing life from this point forward! :)

Love,
Jenny

PS- I will be starting the Gratitudes list on the sidebar again in the New Year!! :)

The Pink Scarf Project

My beautiful friend Vicki, of the blog "2 Bags Full", has created an AMAZING year-long event/project to raise awareness and support for breast cancer patients.  She is asking for donations of pink scarves from anyone and everyone in the blogosphere who will be kind enough to oblige.  She is generously giving away a GORGEOUS, one-of-a-kind wrap that she knitted especially for this project.  If you have ever seen her knitted nests, you know that she can't make anything that isn't just perfection itself.  (If you haven't been so fortunate as to have seen the nests, go here to see my personal favorite.)

I've always said I know only enough about knitting to be able to make a scarf.  Well, perfect!  I'll be sending her at least one of those.  I also know (marginally better, if I'm honest) how to crochet a bit, and I will be creating a scarf (or 10) by that method.  I'm not going to sugar coat it- I want to win that wrap! (Credit for construction will actually go to Lucy Jane, though.)

But much more than that, I want to help Vicki in this worthy cause.  Many of you don't know that someone in my family has had a brush with this awful disease- fortunately it was caught and removed quickly and without much fuss and bother.  But sadly, many, many women are not that fortunate.

So here's an extra incentive to Vicki's wonderful project:  Anytime you send her a scarf and post a comment on her Pink Scarf Project Page that you have done so, come here (there will be a button on my sidebar shortly) and post a comment telling me that you have done so, and you will have an entry to win this Lucy Jane Pennybright "Hope" elephant, complete with her very own pink scarf!  (The mailing address to send the scarves and all of the wonderful details are on her blog at the above link.)

The drawing will be held NEXT October 1st when Vicki's project ends, AND I will also accept comments on this Lucy Jane post about the project.  (But only one entry for the ellie per scarf made and sent!!  I'm just allowing you to choose which blog you leave your entry on!)

So what are you waiting for??  Go to Vicki's blog, find out all the details, and start knitting (or crocheting, sewing, or whatever it is you do) a pink scarf to send her way!!  Best of luck winning the wrap and/or "Hope"!

PS- Here is Lucy's first scarf to send.  What do you think? :)

A Reminder

I've been busy, so I'll have to retro-post a few day's worth of ... all the stuff I was going to post and haven't.  But I wanted to share this piece of word art Lucy Jane created tonight.  Enjoy. :)

Please share it with anyone you know who needs to be reminded.
(If we're honest, that's probably everyone.)

Wood, Don: King Bidgood's In The Bathtub and Heckedy Peg

The illustration style of these two books draws me back to them again and again.

We LOVE "King Bidgood's In The Bathtub"!  The Cute Gremlins think it is hilarious!  The King is having fun in his giant, bubbly, massive bathtub and refuses to get out.  So all the court has to move whatever plans they had going that day- yep!  Into the tub!  I immediately thought of Lauren at American Duchess when I saw the fashions of the court as they waited in the hallway, trying to coax King Bidgood away from his bubble-bathy buffoonery.

I wonder what Lauren thought when she saw what the water had done to the Queen's gown after having lunch in the tub?

[Edit/Update: I tagged Lauren on Facebook that I'd written this post and posed a question.  This is her reply: "lol! Well I think the illustrator knew/knows fashion history! Very impressive, that's not so far off what Elizabethan women were wearing under their skirts :-D"]

********

Heckedy Peg is equally as charming with the illustrations, but a more serious tale:
A poor widow with seven children must go to the market and leave the children alone at home (think Europe mid 18th or 19th century/Grimms tales kind of setting).  While she is gone, the witch Heckedy Peg comes and tricks them, and they are transformed into food.  By remembering what her children had asked for from the market, the mother was able to correctly guess which child had been turned into what food and save them from the witch.

This is my favorite image from Heckedy Peg, because I've known the love and strong maternal instincts that turn the poor widow into a fearsome and formidable force to be reckoned with when she is protecting her children.

That stance and body language?  Just about every mom in the world, including me, has been there and done that and will on keep doing it, whenever and if ever the need arises.  But the illustration of her doing it gives me added courage.  This is a scary world to raise babies in, even without hungry witches named Heckedy Peg.

I'd like to find more books at the library that are illustrated by Don Wood.  If I happen upon any soon, I'll be sure to post an edit!

Good Life

I first saw this music video while waiting in line for a ride at Six Flags.  Absolutely love it!
Enjoy, and live the good life! :)

You'll Need Tissues

My Y post today is for Yahweh.
God Almighty, Who loves with such a love that we can't even comprehend it fully.
Jehovah, the Lord.
(For a beautiful list of names of God from the scriptures, go here.)

This song makes me cry, because it is so beautiful and I think singing Hallelujah is the closest thing we have to being able to thank Him for all He blesses us with.  But the song also deals with the heartbreak of being human and how turning to God after being wounded and broken beyond repair is our only source of healing.  So bittersweet.

These lyrics give me goosepimples:
I did my best, it wasn't much/ I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong/ I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah


Grab some Kleenex.  Give a listen.  Let your heart be moved.

Where in the World...

...would I go if I had the money to travel?

Where would I NOT go?!
You already know about my plans for England, but I thought I would share a few other places on the bucket list:

Cities in The US:
New York: A show on Broadway; general sightseeing
San Francisco: The Golden Gate Bridge; general sightseeing
San Diego: After the last few posts about a certain band, do I really need to explain this?
Seattle: General sightseeing
Boston: Boston Harbor, general sightseeing
Charleston: Historic homes; general sightseeing
Colonial Williamsburg: general sightseeing

Other Countries:
France: Paris; the palace at Versailles; general sightseeing
Prince Edward Island, Canada: The birthplace of Lucy Maud Montgomery; general sightseeing

There are more, but that's a start.  All that stands between me and crossing these trips off my list are three words:  Airfare, Childcare and Time to Spare.  (Yes, ok, technically 5 words, but you get the point!)

But I'm not giving up.  Some wonderful day...

RRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

That's the sound my sewing machine makes.  And it has been making it a lot the last week.  I'm working harder than ever, because several newer, shorter term goals have presented themselves to me, and I want to meet them.  I'm sick of where my life is, so I'm going to change it.

I know that I have obligations and responsibilities.  Duh.  But I'm not going to defer to everyone else and all of their goals and needs for the entire rest of my life in the name of being an unselfish person.

I'm important too.  There are people I want to meet and thank for having an intense and profound impact on my life.  (70% of those are musicians.)  I don't think it's right to let other people to persuade me that simply buying albums/soundtracks/books/products or sending an email is enough to let my heroes know how much they are appreciated.  I've been quietly told by the naysayers in my life how impossible or frivolous or impractical my dreams are, that I got to the point of not being able to look anyone in the eye.  That's just pitiful.

I will change this.  I want to meet people face to face and look them in the eye to tell them how happy I am for the moment they came into my life.  To do this, some extensive (and expensive) airfare will come into play.

New York.
Brisbane, Australia.
San Diego.
London, England.
Los Angeles.
Wellington, New Zealand.

But really... who cares?  People fly into and out of those cities EVERY FREAKING DAY.  Why not me?  Absolutely no reason why not.

Patiently feeding fabric through a sewing machine may seem an unusual way to reach my goals.  But I love what I create, and apparently other people do too, because orders are pouring in.  I'm going to meet my financial goals and live my dreams.

It starts in my soul.  Way down deep.  Stand back, y'all.  I'm spreading my wings.  And I am going to fly.

Falling on my face...

I'm sorry to do this again, but I just have to make a placeholder for F and come back to it on Monday when everything goes back to normal.  The Afters, DecembeRadio and Tenth Avenue North in concert at Six Flags tonight and I am completely tuckered out.  It was incredible.  (photos forthcoming, promise.) I got to finally meet Rob Langer from The Joy FM in person, too!!  We've become friends through Facebook and email, and it was so cool to say hi and get a hug and a picture!

Mike, the lead singer of 10th Ave, came out into the crowd to share God's love with us and share some of his experiences and thoughts and he stood in our row next to Gremlin #1 and myself.  AWESOME!!!  As he was coming through, I got to shake his hand/high five/connect with him and it's been so long since I experienced the high energy of a music concert that I sort of reverted to a giggly teenager state on the way home in the car.

I kept saying "I got to touch 10th Avenue North. *giggle*"
My gremlins were good sports about it. LOL

I'm crashing in the bed, y'all.  Husband is home tomorrow to go with us to Six Flags AGAIN (this time to ride rides).  I don't know if I have the stamina to do this all season long!  It's exhausting!  (Oh, wait- that was yesterday's post...)

Goodnight!

Beautiful Beautiful

Happy Music Monday and A-Z to you, readers!
Today's MM is brought to you by one of my favorite artists, who - very coincidentally- has a 'B' name!
Here is Francesca Battistelli singing "Beautiful, Beautiful".  Enjoy!

Bring Someone JOY!

If you're just getting to know me through The Modest Peacock, it should be immediately obvious how important music is to me.  Music that affirms my faith and lifts my spirits is that much more valuable.  Here in Atlanta, the radio station that more than meets my daily need for uplifting and encouraging music is WVFJ, The JOYFM at 93.3.

The JOY FM transferred to not-for-profit status just last year, which means they are LISTENER SUPPORTED.  They can't operate without the support of the community.  Twice a year the station holds a Friendraiser- a week of asking for your commitment to support them and keep them on the air as a blessing to as many people as the airwaves can reach!

My family is on a super tight budget.  Husband's job, while we are grateful that he has one, leaves us reallllyyy reaching to make those ends meet.  But here is something super cool and utterly amazing- they always do.  Somehow or another, God pulls out all the stops and the money is there.  (Very often down to the penny.  So awesome!)  Last fall during the first fundraiser week, I felt the Lord moving my heart to give.  I was sitting in the van on my way to a temporary job that I had taken.  I had J93 on the radio, of course, and this is how the conversation with the Lord went:
"Jenny.  Call the station and give."
"Lord? You know we don't have the money."
"Yes, you will.  Call."
"I don't understand."
He was so patient with my doubt.  "You don't have to understand.  Watch what I'll do.  Call."
I fought and I struggled with the math in my head.  We had enough for a one time gift, though.  (I mean, we keep some in the account.  We're not broke at a zero balance.  We just have to manage what is there very carefully.)  I balked and resisted.  He just held my heart and kept insisting.  I knew I had to obey.  It was hard.  But I knew I needed to.

So I dialed the number. 1-888-933-9330.
As the volunteer answered, the prompting in my heart was super strong.
I didn't give a one time gift.  I obeyed the Lord and set up $30.00 a month.  I knew we had it for about 3 months- after that I didn't know where it would come from.  But you know what??  We have been SO BLESSED.  It's been 6 months, and the money is not only there to give at the first of every month, we've had MORE than enough to cover it.  The Lord comes through in so many ways- more hours for Husband at work.  A seasonal job for me.  Our tax refund.  GOD PROVIDES!  It has been amazing!!!

What can you give?  Will you take that leap of faith and give?  They need us to stay on the air and bring not only the encouraging music, but prayer time and the message of hope and Jesus' love to a hurting world.  Please call them right now, or GIVE ONLINE.  This is so important!

Husband's job has kept him in South Carolina for 6 weeks now.  The kids and I haven't seen him for a month and a half.  This is on top of our already very serious marriage problems that need help.  February and March have been SO lonely.  I can't tell you how The JOY FM has been a constant reminder of God's presence and love.  I'm NOT alone and I am so loved!  The music on The JOY FM has kept me praising and trusting Him.  I don't know what's going to happen with Husband's job in the next while.  It's not bringing in enough to get us back on our feet in the way that needs to happen, and I am often on my knees in prayer for something to change and heal our broken family.  EVERY time I turn on The JOY FM, there is a song that addresses the very need I am struggling with.  That's not a coincidence!  That is the Lord God Almighty!

PLEASE, PLEASE give whatever you can.  Maybe you can give $30 a month like I did.  Maybe you only have $10 for a one time gift.  Whatever it is, please call them or donate online!

February Gratitudes

February has come and gone!  It was a busy month, filled with good friends, letters in the mailbox, and so many blessings to be thankful for!!

• 2.29- Cutie Pie Emily making me smile every 5 minutes!
• 2.28- Dayquil
• 2.27- Voting
• 2.26- All the bills paid up
• 2.25- Inspiration for new projects and creative goodness!
• 2.24- Fish legs is tasty noms! :)
• 2.23- a whole day to myself to move furniture around, get organized and clean things up
• 2.22- Taking Gran out shopping
• 2.21- Fun time with kids, making green slime :)
• 2.20- Friend's surgery went well
• 2.19- Getting GRACED by 2 wonderful friends. You two are such blessings!!!
• 2.18- Good doctors for my Grandmama
• 2.17- Musical Numbers
• 2.16- Fantastic Bible Study time!
• 2.15- Half price chocolates/Valentine's candy
• 2.14- Friend who sent me Mr. Darcy in the mailbox and made my Valentine's Day not so horrible
• 2.13- More letters in my mailbox
• 2.12- Email about things relating to The Other Me that made my entire year!
• 2.11- Heat and warm blankets as the temps drop super fast outside.
• 2.10- Two people I love have a Birthday today!
• 2.9- A few questions answered
• 2.8- I found a few awesome treasures at the thrift store!
• 2.7- Letters in my mailbox
• 2.6- My brother-in-law, who has a birthday today
• 2.5- Someone who came to church
• 2.4- Strong headache medicine
• 2.3- The freedom to make a few long term plans
• 2.2- Pretty paper to write letters on
• 2.1- Meeting new friends through the Lettermo challenge

52 Weeks of Mail: Week 20

ALREADY?!  Flying by fast! :)

Here is the fantabulous mail I got this week:

Letters from Kendall C of Happy Little Mailboxes (Look
at the peacock feather goodness!), and Cathy in OH.

Fantastic letter and postcard from Vanessa in Germany.
Visit her blog, Vanessa's 52 Weeks of Mail.  Middle letter
is from Donovan of the LWA.  London postcard came from
fellow Month of Letters challenger Mary in the UK.  I've been
working on a letter to her and it will go out on Monday!

And here is what I sent:

A long reply was sent to Hilda C. in MS.  After not being able to get an
outer envelope for it for a week or more, I finally got Svenja's off to her
in Germany.  Krista E. got all kinds of fun glitter alphabet stickers on hers.
The bird envies are to fellow Month of Letters writers: Val F. (Day 8),
Eleri H. (Day 9), Melissa T. (Day 10), Hannah D. (Day 11), Melanie W.
(Day 12), Laura O. (Day 13).

Hannah D. writes the blog A Lost Seamstress and loves to
sew/knit/embroider/all that stuff, like I do.
So I used a split stitch in red floss on a piece of off white felt
 to embroider her name and address.  It was fun to make and I hope it makes her smile!  I also paired it with a scarlet tanager because red is her favorite color. :)

My dear friend Taylor in Jasper, GA is working hard on her senior year of
her undergrad.  Over the last 6 months, I've been saving up little things
 that I found that I knew she would love.  I didn't see her at Christmas and
her birthday is in the spring, so I figured I would split the difference and
send this lot now. She got a box of salt water taffy, some otter paper dolls
and the first installment of a story I wrote about them.
I also got her a mini clip-on otter.  (She's in love with otters and I happily
feed her addiction.)  Notecards aren't complete without a dip pen and ink
to write on them with, and the pen isn't complete without a seal and sealing
wax, and some stamps to send them. :)  Also included was a blank journal,
and an Avon airmail envelope pouch, like the one I gave away here a
few weeks ago.

Taylor's box, all packaged and ready to go.

Lettermo-ers Rose L. (Day 14) and Flora A. (Day 15) were mailed out to this week.

While out shopping with my mom on Friday, I found these beauties and could not pass them up:

Yay, peacocks! :)

My friend Cayla in TX often gets cards with Chickadees on them from me.
Loved finding these!

As it is Week 20 of the 52 Weeks of Mail challenge, I thought it would be fun to count up what I've sent and received so far.  It looks like (if my records are right) I mailed out 105 items through the USPS, and received 72 in!  WOW!!!  That's more mail than I normally got in an entire year not too long ago! And we've only been going for 4 months!  I LOVE sending mail.  And I LOVE getting it! :)  I don't know how much has been spent on postage the entire time of the 52 weeks project, because I didn't start recording that until January, in my new mail log.  But so far this year I've spent $50.27.  Considering that just ONE reenactment would cost us around $100-$200 to attend, and we attended 6-8 events per year, this is a MUCH less expensive hobby!!!  And more lasting, as I'm forging relationships with other human beings and can re-read the letters over and over again whenever I like.  Totally worth my $50 bucks so far! :)

What about you?  Do you have any idea what kind of send/receive numbers you are sitting at currently? What about the postage?  How much have you happily shelled out for stamps?  Isn't it a completely worthy cause? :) :)

He is!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the lyrics in this Tenth Avenue North song.  I love all of their songs, but this one just lifts my heart so much!

"And He'll break open the skies to save those who cry out His Name- the One the wind and waves obey is strong enough to save you!"

No person, situation, heartache, life or circumstance is hopeless.  Nothing is impossible with God.  NOTHING. IS. IMPOSSIBLE.  (Luke 1:37)

Turn it up loud!  Shout it to the heavens!  Be encouraged!

A Blogger In Need

I'm sharing this from Laura at The Daily Dodo.  It's important.

Please read this post from Candace at The Misadventures in Candyland and help if you can!  If there is one thing I have learned about blogging and bloggers, it's that we are more than people who post stuff on the internet for other people to read; we are a community of people who care about each other!  So follow the links, hear her story and show her some love.

Hug your family.  Tell them you love them.  Help people who need help, whether you know them or not.  Remember when you are going through a hard time- or even when things are going well for you- that there are others going through valleys of their own and we can be encouraged in our challenges by encouraging someone else through theirs.

"I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor, and upholds the cause of the needy."
~ Psalm 140:11-13

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."
~Philippians 4:19

So True

It's been a while since a Music Monday post was published.  Enjoy. :)

I hope 2012 is being good to you so far. :)

December Gratitudes

Or: "Bye, 2011.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out..." :)

I don't think it's fair to try to weigh out all of the things that happened in a year and then stamp it as either  a "good" or "bad" year.  The last month of 2011 saw me crying both tears of pain and tears of joy.  I had some truly wonderful days, and some days that I wish were only a nightmare that I could wake up from and forget.  I think, finally, that I'm learning to live One. Day. At. A. Time.  This is not to say I don't set goals or make plans for the future.  Of course I do.  But isn't life less about trying to forget a "bad year" and remembering all of the "good times" no matter what year they happened in?  And creating more good times to look back on?  I had so much to be thankful for this last month of 2011.  I'm looking forward to my blessings in 2012 as they unfold.  God bless us.  Every one.  :)

• 12.31- Goodbye, 2011. I learned a lot and I'm ready for a fresh new start!!!
• 12.30- Day off from work=more productive clearing out at home! Also, Friend Christina takes me to the gym and I discover that I really like it
• 12.29- The truth has set me free. Grateful for family who love and support me. Lord God, hold me together and bring beauty from the ashes
• 12.28- Friend Christina helps me get some things sorted and cleaned out. Both of us make like Allie Brosh and CLEAN ALL THE THINGS
• 12.27- Sweet friends and customers made work today really nice
• 12.26- A morning shift at work so that I can spend time with the kids and their new toys. :)
• 12.25- CHRISTMAS! My Jesus was born to set me free!!!
• 12.24- Grateful for my family. Seeing the kids after family kept them all week while I worked and spending time with my Dad's side for Christmas
• 12.23- While Christmas shopping, found Cute Gremlin #4's birthday gift on sale. Felt good to be shopping savvy. :)
• 12.22- Bestie sent me goodies from River Street Sweets in Savannah!!!!!
• 12.21- Christmas shopping :)
• 12.20- Spring stuff has arrived at work! I got to display lovely garden accents and it brightened my day
• 12.19- God's grace to stay cheerful at work after hard weekend
• 12.18- Spending time after church eating pancakes and reading a wonderful letter from England
• 12.17- The prayers of friends and family as my world began to crash
• 12.16- Talented friends
• 12.15- discovering a link to a blog that compares the SEC teams to Muppets
• 12.14- another full day at work
• 12.13- Completely and utterly Graced by our church family
• 12.12- Tree is finally decorated
• 12.11- giant pot of clam chowder
• 12.10- same as yesterday
• 12.9- Full and busy day at work
• 12.8- Lovable, loud, ginger friend has a birthday today
• 12.7- Eldest Cute Gremlin is officially a teenager
• 12.6- The Christmas tree is up!
• 12.5- The fun involved in trying to outdo a friend with funny Star Wars youTube vids via Facebook
• 12.4- Seeing friends at a wedding gig
• 12.3- An old and dear friend called me on his birthday to catch up :)
• 12.2- My warm coat
• 12.1- Great day at work

2011- In Review

In retrospect, I suppose 2011 has been better than 2010.  In some ways, much better.  In other ways, not much at all...  Here are some major points that happened:

January- March:

• My professional camera went missing and then was found.
• My blog hit 1,000 page views! :)
• Cute Gremlin #4 turned 3
• We got snowed/iced in at the house for 4 days and everything got organized and sorted! (For a little while, anyway.)  Plans for redecorating/renovating my room were begun.

April- June:

• I participated in the A-Z Blog challenge,  nearly tripling my followers list! :D
• I spent time at the beach and with good friends
• Cute Gremlin #3 turned 6
• I turned 30

July-September:

• I got to return to the beach :)
• I made many more blog friends, and my page views topped 10,000! WOW!
• I got to see "Wicked" at the Fox Theatre!
• Cute Gremlin #2 turned 11
• I began to set some strong goals and plans for my future, even in the midst of much uncertainty.

October- December:

• My blog page views have now surpassed 25,000!!! Amazing!
• I participated in NaBloWriMo
• I began the 52 weeks of mail project, and pen pal-ing.
• I got a job at Hobby Lobby- a direct answer to prayer!
• Cute Gremlin #1 turned 13
• The Cute Gremlins had a wonderful Christmas
• [Update: what I originally wrote here has been removed for revision/prayer/privacy/etc] The Lord is my Rock and my Refuge.  I am clinging to Him and He will never fail me.

As my current Facebook status reads:

Dear 2011,

It wasn't your fault.  You tried to be a good year and gave me all your 365 days to live in.  So, thanks.

Dear 2012,

BRING IT ON.  I'm ready for you.

Love,

Jenny

I'm still writing letters and trying to get caught up on blogging.  I'm sticking to plans that I've made:

• Growing my income with Lucy Jane and Avon, etc.
• the 2012 A-Z Blogging Challenge in April
• saving up for my England trip in June of 2013 (more about that in another post soon!)
• Spending time with my kids and creating a happy and healthy life for them.  Plans for trips to the park and local attractions and events, church events and other fun things.  We're going to be fine.
• Most Importantly: reading my Bible every day and following the Lord wherever He leads me.

Happy, happy New Year, everyone!  2012 is going to be wonderful!

Love to you all,

Jenny